Surgery

I feel kind of guilty that I haven't written anything for a while, not sure why I feel guilty.

Anyway, life has thrown us a bit of a curve ball this last week or so. I've finally given in and decided to have my gallbladder removed. I've been having problems with it every pregnancy, but this one was worse. Previously the issues had taken care of themselves after the baby was born, not this time. After five attacks in 6 weeks I need to do something. If it were just effecting me I'd tough it out longer and see what happens, but the meds that I end up needing to take transfer to the baby through my breast milk and he ends up really drowsy and lethargic all day. It breaks my heart to see him like this. Most of my attacks have been in the middle of the night, but yesterday I had one at 6am. So as Jason's getting ready for work I had to make a really tough choice:

a) take my meds that make me drowsy and dizzy, almost like I'm intoxicated and farm my kids out to my friends until I was capable of caring for them again.

b) try a lesser pain killer that might not work, but still allow me to care for my kids.

Jason taking time off work isn't an option, so I chose b. I really feel like I've taken advantage of the few sisters in my ward that are willing to watch my kids. I've had so many dr appointments in the last year or so. I'm not sure if they feel that way, but I don't really have anyway to repay them. Sometimes I wish somebody would ask me to help out with their kids, just so I feel like I'm doing something to pull my own weight. But I'm getting off topic, luckily yesterdays attack was mild enough that the motrin was able to take care of the pain. It scares me to think what would happen if I didn't have anyone to help with the kids and I had to take the Lortab, knowing me I'd suffer through the pain although who knows what would be worse.

So next week my Mother-in-law is flying out for a week to take care of my kids so I can have this thing taken out. I'm slightly worried about complications, but worrying doesn't help, so I'm ignoring that part of my brain. Surgery is scheduled for Friday. wish me luck. :)